How do you express love? How do you want to be loved in a relationship? If you’re like most of us, you fall into 1 of the 5 love language categories (with a couple strong influencers)1:
- Words of Affirmation – Saying: “I love you”, “You’re amazing”, and “I’m so lucky”.
- Acts of Service – Actions speak louder than words.
- Receiving Gifts – Little tokens of love and affection make you smile all day.
- Quality Time – Time is valuable and you want to spend it with your significant other.
- Physical Touch – Hugging, cuddling, and holding hands is how you let the world know you’re in love.
Now that you’ve identified your personal love language, what about your partner’s? Is it the same or different? Do you know?
It may feel like you don’t understand each other, but having different love languages is not the end of the world.
You’ve just spent your entire evening with your partner instead of reading that book you really wanted to get to. Despite that, they’re upset you haven’t kissed them in the last 4 hours. You just can’t understand what more they want from you. Sounds familiar? Or you ask them why they never say, “I love you.” They respond, “Don’t you like it when I bring you chocolates?” And you can’t see the connection.
The biggest problem with this is that your messages of love might not be understood by each other.2 Don’t worry! It’s pretty normal to be with somebody who communicates love differently. Not everyone speaks the same love language.3 While it might be nice to have a partner that understands exactly what you need to feel loved, it isn’t the end of the world if you don’t. After all, we can’t all be exactly the same, how can we?
You can speak different love languages and still have a healthy relationship.
For couples worried about their future together, here’s some soothing relationship advice: You can have different love languages and still maintain a healthy relationship. The two of you just need to put in a little effort to understand…
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