Child

When Parents Are Trying Too Hard, Loving Their Kids Becomes Destroying Them

is a constant question with no definite answer. Will this benefit my child? How will my choices and actions affect them in the future? The truth is, everyone is doing their best. And as a parent trying their best, you must understand that your child is also doing their best. In your efforts to push them to success, you may be hurting their self-esteem 1 in the process.

Expectation Isn’t Everything

All parents want what is best for their kids, and for them to have the opportunities that they didn’t. Or perhaps they just want them to follow in their footsteps to achieve the level of greatness that they have, or better. That’s why they choose to instill those values in them at an early age. To work hard, and to do well.

Children absolutely need that encouragement and that support to excel and flourish. But there definitely is a limit. When the need for success is taking a toll on your child’s happiness, 2 parents need to look at the bigger picture here. Their personal well-being is more important than achieving a perfect score. Parents’ needs for their flawless success could be blinding them from their deflating ego. While children need their parents’ support to thrive, they need it even more when they fail.

We all excel in different forms of intelligence.

This unnerving need to succeed, achieve, and win can have some very negative effects on a developing child’s well-being. They will harbor this supposed value throughout their lives, leaving them completely devastated in the event that they inevitably fail. College students especially struggle with this when they are unable to achieve sometimes unrealistic expectations.

This negative reaction to failure is an indication of low self-esteem, which is a learned reaction that deepens over time. To these kids, it is completely unacceptable and they are less of a person for making a mistake.

What these children never learned, because their parents may have not been aware, is that there are nine types of intelligence’s.3 Just because an individual does not excel in one area does not mean that they are unintelligent or incapable.

  1. Nature Intelligence
  2. Musical Intelligence
  3. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence
  4. Existential Intelligence
  5. Interpersonal Intelligence
  6. Bodily-Kinetic Intelligence
  7. Linguistic Intelligence
  8. Personal Intelligence
  9. Spatial Intelligence

If your child is struggling academically, look at their strengths and weaknesses. Help them to excel in the areas that naturally “click” with them, and get them extra help where they might come up short. Consider your own…

The Tremendous Impact of a Sad Family on an Innocent Child

One of the truest quotes I have ever heard goes something like “having a child is like having your heart pulled out of your body, then watching it try to navigate through life on its own”. In many ways, this is one of life’s toughest lessons, because children, especially younger ones, are so vulnerable and it is highly instinctive as a parent to want to protect them.1 It’s our greatest responsibility.

Parenthood can be a long, lonely road sometimes, where the best parent can question their abilities. However, typically wanting to protect a child is a sign of excellent parenting instincts. How to go about doing it is another matter.

The causes of family conflicts vary but their impact is disastrous.

1. Money issues

“One of the most common root issues for intense conflict within families is a lack of money. This is not always the case, though; sometimes people are drawn together in support when there is lack. However, many couples find the strain of trying to meet material needs to be overwhelming, and this can lead to initial tension between two parents.”

2. Family dynamics, illness or death

Another root issue is simple family dynamics where personalities become highly incompatible and attempts at conflict resolution fail because parents lack the ability and lose the desire to cope with their mate’s daily problems or issues. This can be triggered by the death of a close family member or child, or the onset of an illness in a partner that overwhelms and polarizes the other partner. Love is forgotten.

3. Substance or physical abuse

Families that suffer from alcohol and abuse issues face excruciatingly difficult situations on a daily basis, where fear, sometimes outright terror is the daily special.

Family conflicts cause long-term negative impact on children.

1. They feel frightened

Whatever the case, what follows is generally a sort of unraveling of something that is beloved and the safest thing they know, right before a child’s eyes. This can make a child feel frightened and insecure, or angry and resentful.

2. They feel guilty

They can start to blame themselves for the issues their parents are experiencing or they may start to exhibit escapist behavioral patterns such as drug or alcohol abuse.

3. They grow up in a dysfunctional family

In some cases, dysfunction can manifest in lax parenting by one or both parents, because they are preoccupied with their own issues.2

4. They do not know how to respect others

An inconsistency in parenting styles can lead to doubt and lack of clarity when it comes to exemplifying how to set and respect personal boundaries of other people – children have a tendency…

In This Noisy World, Kids Really Need Critical Thinking

More than 1 in 6 students in the United States are unable to solve complex thinking problems, according to the 2012 PISA (Programme for International Student Assessment) test done on 15 year old children in 44 different countries1. Though American students did well overall, they consistently lagged behind their Asian counterparts. Unfortunately, kids who lack critical thinking problem solving skills face a higher risk of behavior and economical problems as adults.

Our modern society tends to squash essential critical thinking skills with mind-numbing television shows, video games and self-explanatory simple directions. It eliminates problem solving skills by readily spoon feeding easy accessible solutions. The death of vital critical thinking has become eminent.

Critical Thinking Comprises 4 Skills

Critical thinking skills help kids solve complex problems and think for themselves.2

Logical Thinking

Using the scientific method approach to thinking and eliminating emotion.

Research

Learning how to find solutions backed by facts through research, using scientific data to help formulate answers.

Self Awareness

The ability to perceive when their own bias from personal experience clouds their analysis of situations and learning to remove emotional judgments in their problem solving.

Thinking Outside the Box

Challenging rules and questioning answers. Having the capability to view the problem from different perspectives, review all of the facts, not just their own, and pick the most logical solution.

Our Education System Tends to Stifle Children’s Critical Thinking Skills

With their emphasis on memorization and fill in the bubble tests, our education system tends to stifle children’s critical thinking skills. They drill facts and support one correct-answer thinking. But the essential soft skills of critical thinking provide children with the building blocks of a better future in the real world. These necessary problem solving skills also help to develop self confidence.

Ways to Help Your Child Develop Critical Thinking Skills

You don’t need to hire a private instructor to help your child develop these essential soft skills. You can easily incorporate complex problem solving lessons into your daily life.

Ask Your Child”Why”

Remember how your kids drove you crazy when they went through the “why’ stage? They constantly bombarded you with ‘why.’ Why is the sky blue? Why is the ball round. Why? Why? Why? Now it’s time to turn the tables and ask them why. According to Marlana Martinelli at WeAreTeachers.com, asking ‘why five times helps kids build critical thinking skills to solve problems3.

When your child presents you with a…

What Young Families Can Do To Save More Money

how families can save money
how families can save money

Whether you have more than one child or you’re a first-time parent, babies are expensive and there’s no way around it. Building your family is probably a dream come true for you, but it doesn’t go without any complications.

Luckily, there are many tricks to make the transition a little easier for you to handle on a budget. Here’s a quick guide on how families can save money, especially with a newborn.

Avoid Eating Out

Eating out is more convenient than taking the time to prepare and cook a meal, but it is more expensive. When you have a newborn at home, you can’t afford to go without any essentials. Find as many sales as possible in your local grocery stores. Your days and nights may run together with a newborn in the home, but most of your money will remain in your wallet when you don’t eat out all the time.

Try making freezer meals a couple weeks ahead of your baby’s arrival. This way you’ll have the time to make good, healthy meals before the craziness of the baby takes over, and you’ll have fewer chances to give into the temptation of ordering out.

See Also: Foods That Will Help You Keep Your Family Healthy

Breastfeed Your Newborn

If you can, breastfeed your newborn as well. Your breastmilk is free and, according to studies, offers a lot more nutrition to help in your baby’s development.

Formula milk is expensive whether you buy a branded or generic formula. It can cost more than $100 each month which translates to $1,200 per year. You can keep this money in your pocket by breastfeeding your…

No Vaccination? No Daycare, Say Australian Legislators

Article Image

A children’s doctor injects a vaccine against measles, rubella, mumps and chicken pox to an infant on February 26, 2015 in Berlin, Germany. (Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

Australia might soon ban unvaccinated children from attending preschools and daycare. Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull didn’t mince words on the proposed law, dubbed “No Jab, No Play.”

“This is not a theoretical exercise – this is life and death,” he said. “If a parent says ‘I’m not going to vaccinate my child’, they’re not simply putting their child at risk, they’re putting everybody else’s children at risk too.”

Australia has been moving toward stricter vaccination laws for years. In 2015, the federal government stripped welfare and tax benefits from parents of unvaccinated children, a move that led to an increase of about 200,000 child vaccinations.

Vaccination laws that restrict unvaccinated children from attending schools already exist in New South Wales, Queensland and Victoria. But Turnbull and the Australian Medical Association want to enforce them nationwide.

“If you, as a parent, expect the community to support you by either welfare payments or access to care, then you need to do your bit to contribute to that community by protecting other children,” Michael Gannon, president of the Australian Medical Association, told Fairfax Media.

Still, some think Australia’s this strong-arm legislation could empower the anti-vaccination movement.

“People without any previous interest in vaccination may defend anti-vaccination activists and join their cause because they are concerned about the threat to civil liberties,” said Julie Leask, a professor and researcher at the University of Sydney.

Like in the U.S., there’s a small but loud movement of anti-vaccination Australians (or “vaccination skeptics“) who believe vaccines cause autism and other medical problems – despite the overwhelming evidence that vaccines are safe. These beliefs can permeate entire communities and facilitate outbreaks of Victorian-era diseases.

Anti-vaxxer protest

(Photo: NICHOLAS KAMM)

One anti-vaccination mother living in a suburb outside of Sydney recently proposed starting a daycare center for unvaccinated children.

“Many families are concerned about vaccinating. Yes it’s in response to No Jab No Play,” the post read. Alarmingly, some were supportive of the idea, suggesting they open similar daycares in nearby cities.

Such a move could put whole communities at risk by weakening herd immunity.

Herd immunity is all about strength in numbers. Society becomes protected from outbreaks when enough people are…

Physically abused kids struggle to learn about rewards

upset child
upset child

Lab experiments show that physically abused kids have trouble learning to make choices that consistently lead to a reward. Later on, this difficulty can contribute to behavior problems, researchers say.

Abused kids may be hit, choked and otherwise physically attacked by their parents. This leads them to see the world as a place where hugs and other positive responses to good behavior happen inconsistently, if at all. And this physical abuse doesn’t just leave kids black and blue. It also bruises their ability to learn how to act at school and elsewhere. This can lead to the problem behaviors often seen in abused children.

That’s the finding of a new study. And it is the first time researchers have linked trouble learning a basic form of social skills in children to their misbehavior years later.

Jamie Hanson is a psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania. He and his colleagues focused on decision-making in abused kids. Their experiments showed that physically abused kids lag behind others in learning to make choices that lead to a reward. This was true even after many trials.

These children stick to what they learned early in life — that rewards are rare and unpredictable, but punishment is always imminent. In situations outside their families, “Physically abused kids fail to adjust flexibly to new behavioral rules,” explains coauthor Seth Pollak. He’s a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. Such kids never learn rules for good behavior with teachers and other children. So they end up fighting peers on the playground and acting out in class.

The researchers published their findings February 3 in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

What they found

Hanson’s…