Domestic violence

If It Hurts, It’s Not Love: Why Not to Stay in an Abusive Relationship

Abuse is not love. It is about power and control over a person. It usually starts small in a relationship and becomes a bigger problem over time. Abuse doesn’t typically begin with physical harm; it begins with emotional harm.

The abuse gets worse as the relationship progresses. He/She may not be hitting you while you are dating, but the controlling behaviors are often evident early in the relationship. Those controlling ways are abuse. That’s why it is so imperative to recognize the signs of abuse before you are in too deeply.

The impact of abuse is much more widespread that people acknowledge.

You may be thinking this doesn’t apply to you because you aren’t being abused, but it does, because someone you know is being abused.

Abuse has no socioeconomic, racial, or cultural barriers. It happens to people who are rich and to people who are poor. It can happen to anyone, in any walk of life. An article on provides some important information about abuse and states:1

“Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 to 44”.

This means that women in this age range are more likely to be harmed by their partner than they are to be injured in a car accident.

Abuse is not just about physical harm.

Many people associate abuse with physical harm, but there is so much more involved in abuse than physical harm. Abuse is about a person wanting control over another person. That desire for control leads to a variety of controlling behaviors including isolation from friends and family, threats, emotional abuse, and more.

Most domestic violence centers use the “Power and Control Wheel” to show the types of abuse, as they go far beyond the physical. Abuse is about power and control which come in these forms, often far before the physical abuse ever begins:

Most abused individuals who stay in the relationship do so because they hope the person will change. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of research or data that points to abusers changing their ways.

Is it possible? Yes, but many researchers, including well known abuse expert Lundy Bancroft, say that an abuser changing their ways is a lifelong process and will only happen if an abuser is determined to change.2 It is like a disease that never truly goes away but just becomes dormant.

In the case of abuse, it will only become dormant because the abuser seeks help and has decided not to abuse anymore. You also need to consider the likelihood of them changing, which experts say is not promising. The National Domestic Violence Hotline states,3

“There’s a very low percentage of abusers who truly do change their ways.”

It takes a huge effort on the part of an abuser to change their ways. If you…

Domestic Violence Facts: 72 Horrifying Facts About Domestic Violence

domestic violence facts

Domestic violence facts: Facts about domestic violence. Dоmеѕtіс violence, occurs whеn оnе реrѕоn causes рhуѕісаl оr рѕусhоlоgісаl hаrm to a сurrеnt or fоrmеr іntіmаtе раrtnеr. It іnсludеѕ аll acts of vіоlеnсе wіthіn thе context оf fаmіlу оr іntіmаtе relationships. Besides bеіng the leading саuѕе of injury to wоmеn іn thе United Stаtеѕ (а wоmаn is beaten every 15 seconds), it іѕ an іѕѕuе оf increasing соnсеrn bесаuѕе оf its nеgаtіvе effect оn аll fаmіlу mеmbеrѕ, especially children. Below are 72 facts about domestic violence.

Domestic violence facts

Number оf U.S. trоорѕ kіllеd in Afghanistan аnd Irаԛ: 6,614:

Numbеr оf wоmеn, in the ѕаmе period, killed аѕ the result оf dоmеѕtіс violence іn thе US: 11,766

Number оf реорlе per mіnutе who experience intimate раrtnеr vіоlеnсе in the U.S.: 24

Number оf workplace violence іnсіdеntѕ іn thе U.S. аnnuаllу that are the result оf current оr раѕt іntіmаtе раrtnеr аѕѕаultѕ: 18,700

Numbеr оf women in the U.S. whо rероrt intimate partner vіоlеnсе: 1 іn 4

Number оf mеn іn thе U.S. whо report іntіmаtе раrtnеr vіоlеnсе: 1 іn 7

Numbеr оf wоmеn who wіll еxреrіеnсе…