Fear

Are Your Emotions Costing You Money? Take This Quiz

Building a strong financial foundation for you and your family requires discipline. It requires patience. It requires a steady mindset. But even the best of us have found ourselves spending and making financial decisions based on emotions, whether that’s retail therapy, or holding off on investing due to fear of the markets. We’ve made decisions based on joy or comfort in the short term instead of satisfaction in the long run.

Are you letting your emotions control your finances? Answer these questions to find out.

Do you spend money when you feel sad, happy, or stressed?

You had a bad day at work, so you go on a shopping spree for new shoes. You got a promotion, so you celebrate by taking friends out to eat at a fancy restaurant. You spend money as a reaction or antidote to whatever feelings you have at a given moment, and this makes it hard to save money at a healthy rate. You don’t need to treat yourself to a costly reward every time you’re happy or sad. This is an easy way to fall into a dangerous emotional spending cycle. (See also: The High Cost of the “Treat Yourself” Mindset)

Have you held off on investing because you are afraid?

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions we have, and many people have never gotten started with retirement planning and investing because they are intimidated. They may find the whole process of investing to be overwhelming, or they may have a fear of asking a dumb question. Additionally, they may fear that their investments will lose money. In reality, it’s best to channel fear into investing more, because not having enough money saved for retirement is a truly scary thought. (See also: 3 Steps to Getting Started in the Stock Market With Index Funds)

Have you sold investments when you realized they lost value?

We’ve probably all found ourselves frustrated with certain investments that have tanked, and sold them at a loss. Of course, then we’ve kicked ourselves when we’ve seen those same investments rebound in short order. It’s not a good practice to be emotional…

How to Build Resilience to Survive in This Difficult World

Why do people fail?

Surprisingly, it’s not usually down to a lack of talent, ability or motivation.

In fact, plenty of very intelligent people fail for one simple reason: they lack resilience.

If you want to enjoy life, be successful, and cope well in a difficult world, you need to build up resilience.

Read on to find out how.

What is resilience?

Simply put, resilience is the ability to deal with whatever life throws at you without giving up.

Being resilient means being able to bounce back, even after something really bad happens.

One key characteristic of successful people is that they aren’t afraid to keep trying after they fail, and that’s because they’ve learned to be resilient.

Here’s an example:

Two people go to interviews for their dream job. Neither of them get the job.

Person 1 is resilient. He doesn’t let a small setback knock him down, and he keeps applying for other jobs. Soon enough, he gets one – and it’s even better than the original job!

Person 2 isn’t resilient. When he doesn’t get the job, he loses all confidence. He thinks he’s a failure, that he should never have bothered trying, and that he might as well give up now. He stops applying for the jobs he really wants, and sticks with a career well below his ability level.

Want to learn more about how resilience can make you successful?

Read this article: Why There Are So Few Successful People in the World: Talents Are Overrated

How to become more resilient

Ready to start your journey towards resilience?

Here are some great places to start.

Had a bad experience in the past that’s put you off trying again?

Maybe you fell off a bike while learning, and got too afraid to get back in the saddle?

Learning to overcome difficult memories is the first step towards building resilience.

Here’s an idea of how to get started:

  • Accept what happened, and…

The DeanBeat: Don’t panic. E3 will be full of fun, not FUD

Some wags will tell you that the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), the big game trade show in Los Angeles in mid-June, is on its way down. They will make you worry about big companies pulling out of the show, mobile companies failing to show up, and fans making it too crowded for the 50,000 or so professionals who will descend on the Los Angeles Convention Center in a couple of weeks. They’ll say that E3 is dead.

Don’t believe them. I’ve been going to E3 shows for a couple of decades, and there’s always a lot fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) preceding each show. I have spread some of that FUD myself, as I’ve been worried that big companies pulling out would cave in the show and make it collapse. Electronic Arts is the biggest sinner here, holding a fan event on June 10 but skipping out on a booth on the show floor. And, horror of horrors, Rockstar Games pushed back the release of Red Dead Redemption from this fall to 2018.

But I’m happy to say that the game industry is broader and deeper than one company or one game. I predict that E3 2017 will be full of fun, with lots of new games, surprises, and evidence of growth.

First, consider gaming at the high level. Thanks to mobile games, there are now 2.6 billion gamers on the planet, up from 100 million in 1995, a fact that is so momentous that Internet seer Mary Meeker included dozens of slides on games in her recent talk at the Code conference. The industry generated more than $100 billion in revenue last year, and, as noted in a report by Atomico, the top 50 public game companies have a market valuation of $500 billion. The Entertainment Software Association (ESA), which puts on E3, notes that 63 percent of American homes have at least one gamer. The average player is 35 years old, and 31 percent of players are women. In mobile games, the percentage flips so that 62 percent of players are women, according to Chartboost.

Above: Mike Gallagher, CEO of the Entertainment Software Association

Image Credit: VB

Mike Gallagher, CEO of the ESA, is the top cheerleader for games. He is paid to be happy about games and to be cheerful about E3. But I have to say I agree with him this year, based on what I’ve seen behind the scenes at game companies and from what Gallagher has told me.

Last year, there were 50,300 professionals at the show. A similar amount should show this year. Tickets are sold out. Press events start on June 10, but the expo floor is open from June 13 to June 15.

A year ago, about 20,000 fans went to nearby events. This year, 15,000 fans have tickets to get inside for the first time. It’s going to feel a lot more crowded in the halls. And those fans should count, as they’re going to tweet…

Should We Trust Our Gut Feeling When Making Decisions?

You’ve got a difficult choice to make.

You are up for a promotion on your current job and suddenly, out of nowhere, you are confronted with another, very attractive job opportunity. The salary and benefits are great for both your current job and for this new position.

If you stay on your current job you eliminate having to deal with all of the woes of transitioning to a new job and you may get the promotion you’ve been working so hard for these last five and half years.

On the other hand, if you take the new job, you will be making more money, you’ll have more responsibilities, you’ll have to learn a new system and make new friends.

What should you do? Should you play it safe? Should you take the risk? What does your gut tell you? Should you even listen to your gut?

What is Intuition?

Often times when you’re faced with a difficult decision, you just know what the right choice is. You feel the answer in your gut. That’s what experts refer to as your intuition. Intuition is defined as “the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning.” And while intuition1 may seem to be some instinctual and mysterious internal process, it’s actually a form of unconscious reasoning. It is a process that is rooted in the way our brains collect, store, synthesize and recall information.

The problem so many of us have with trusting our intuition is two-fold. First, the process in which we undergo to arrive at our “gut feeling” is an almost entirely, subconscious process. Therefore, you have no idea what data and processes you used to arrive at your conclusion. The second issue is that we often times confuse fear with intuition. We literally feel fear in our gut. This feeling can lead us to believe that our gut is telling us to avoid danger.

When To Trust your Gut

So, when should you trust your intuition? And how do you distinguish between fear and a legitimate gut feeling? Below are three tips that can help you determine when you should go with your gut and when you should get a second opinion.

1. Evaluate your thoughts

This is so important because intuition is a highly subconscious process. Understanding how you think and process information builds confidence in your internal reasoning process. You assimilate information and use inductive and deductive reasoning constantly. The trick is to shift the process from the background to the forefront of your consciousness.

Consider a routine task you do daily without actually thinking about it–such as driving a car. Just as you perform all of the necessary actions to operate a vehicle without actually thinking about it, if asked, you could reverse engineer your thought process. You could describe circumstances, conditions, other people’s motivations, and your own…

30 Days Without Fear: A Plan That Will Make You Feel So Carefree Like Never Before

Fear….The emotion is sparked off each time there is pain, evil or danger in some context or another.

In essence, the emotion is aroused in cases where the impending threat is a reality or even just imagined. You feel afraid whether there is something to fear or in some cases when there is no actual need to be afraid.

Karl Menninger :“Fears are educated into us, and can if we wish, be educated out.”

Fear is a tool for utmost resilience to escape danger. A bounce back survival mechanism. Adrenaline is released into our bloodstream with resulting biological reactions.

Our reflexes and senses are heightened to help us escape real physical danger. We reach the ‘fight or flight’ mode 1

When you feel fear your brain signals the nervous system, the heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, breathing becomes faster, and stress hormones are released. Blood from the heart flows out in preparation for leg and arms to take action.

So basically the brain shuts down the body down and prepares it for action. The ability to reason and think decreases. Some may even feel like time is slowing down and have tunnel vision, trying to make sense of what is happening. These symptoms make it hard to be logical and stay grounded situations. The response of the body to stress or fear is in itself stressful .

Fear is a useful aid in real danger but not if the danger is self-perceived and unlikely to cause any real harm. Fear can be a drawback.

Fear holds you back if you do not need it. One such example is stage fright when making career moves. We end up making the wrong decisions due to the biological reactions of fear.

We need to be firmly grounded to deal calmly and logically with situations and not be overstimulated

The fact is 99% of times fear that is experience is fear that is non-physical. Fear existing in our minds. We think we are in danger when in actual fact we are not.

  • Fear of speaking in public
  • Fear of other people and strangers
  • Fear of authority and judgment
  • Fear of losing or failure
  • Fear of change
  • Fear of being humiliated.
  • Fear of aging
  • Fear of loneliness
  • Fear of disappointment

Everybody will definitely relate to one or more of these fears at some life phase or the other, even if it is for a short time or on a subconscious level.

Even the most successful people cannot claim to be fearless. They trained themselves to take action despite fear. Halt judging yourself if you have fear. It is as normal as having the flu.

Do you fear being rejected? Are you afraid that you are not good enough and that people will figure out that you are not clever, perfect or funny enough? Do you fear failure, and what about success, do you fear success?

Fears live inside of you and follow you like shadows. The good news 2 is that you have the power and strength and practice resilience to rise above any fear!

We need to overcome mental fear. We need to analyze the root cause of fear and how to overcome it.

Why plan to overcome fear?

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds’ Redemption song- Bob Marley

The main reason is that fear limits your potential. Personal growth is about living life the best you can. Fear is a block hat prevents personal progress and growth. David Hawkins in his book ‘Power vs Force’ 3 refers to fear as the 5th lowest level in the consciousness map of seventeen levels.

If you entrench yourself in illusions of fear 4 you cannot rise to higher levels of consciousness like acceptance, courage, love, peace, joy, and enlightenment.

The 30-day plan to overcome fear

Studies (University of Cambridge: Reconditioning the brain to overcome fear))indicate that we can conquer fear by continual exposure to them. Whether it is extreme sports, spiders, snakes or horror movies, our tolerance grows with more exposure. We learn the fear we have been harvesting is not actually harmful.

Make a list of your most significant fears. Do one thing every day that scares you and rewards yourself for completing the challenge to overcome the fear.

Day 1

On the first day make a note to alleviate all words with negative contractions for the next thirty days. Note all the usual sentences with the words like ‘won’t’ or ‘can’t.’ Flip the focus of your sentences and focus on the positive. Change the negative to positive For example, instead of saying ‘I do not want’ say ‘I would rather’. This defaults the negative. Use this day to practice flipping over all negatives that you will practice for the next thirty days. Start your ‘fear journal’ 5

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ Eleanor Roosevelt

Day 2

Wake up and put on running shoes or head straight to the gym. The goal here is to stop procrastinating. Begin with this as a daily…

The Tremendous Impact of a Sad Family on an Innocent Child

One of the truest quotes I have ever heard goes something like “having a child is like having your heart pulled out of your body, then watching it try to navigate through life on its own”. In many ways, this is one of life’s toughest lessons, because children, especially younger ones, are so vulnerable and it is highly instinctive as a parent to want to protect them.1 It’s our greatest responsibility.

Parenthood can be a long, lonely road sometimes, where the best parent can question their abilities. However, typically wanting to protect a child is a sign of excellent parenting instincts. How to go about doing it is another matter.

The causes of family conflicts vary but their impact is disastrous.

1. Money issues

“One of the most common root issues for intense conflict within families is a lack of money. This is not always the case, though; sometimes people are drawn together in support when there is lack. However, many couples find the strain of trying to meet material needs to be overwhelming, and this can lead to initial tension between two parents.”

2. Family dynamics, illness or death

Another root issue is simple family dynamics where personalities become highly incompatible and attempts at conflict resolution fail because parents lack the ability and lose the desire to cope with their mate’s daily problems or issues. This can be triggered by the death of a close family member or child, or the onset of an illness in a partner that overwhelms and polarizes the other partner. Love is forgotten.

3. Substance or physical abuse

Families that suffer from alcohol and abuse issues face excruciatingly difficult situations on a daily basis, where fear, sometimes outright terror is the daily special.

Family conflicts cause long-term negative impact on children.

1. They feel frightened

Whatever the case, what follows is generally a sort of unraveling of something that is beloved and the safest thing they know, right before a child’s eyes. This can make a child feel frightened and insecure, or angry and resentful.

2. They feel guilty

They can start to blame themselves for the issues their parents are experiencing or they may start to exhibit escapist behavioral patterns such as drug or alcohol abuse.

3. They grow up in a dysfunctional family

In some cases, dysfunction can manifest in lax parenting by one or both parents, because they are preoccupied with their own issues.2

4. They do not know how to respect others

An inconsistency in parenting styles can lead to doubt and lack of clarity when it comes to exemplifying how to set and respect personal boundaries of other people – children have a tendency…

Many of Us Suffer from Mental Disorders but Most Choose to Ignore Them

As time goes on, discussing mental health and the disorders so many of us face has become less and less taboo. With shows like ’13 Reasons Why,’ we seem to all be open to discussion suicide and bullying far more often than we would have just a few years ago.

But the ability to discuss it more freely does not mean mental health is improving. In fact, 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experience mental health, and as many as 6.9% of adults in the U.S. had at least one major depressive episode last year. Of these, only about 41% of adults in the U.S. received mental health services during that time.1 But why? It seems like media is more willing to talk about things like bipolar disorder and depression, but despite it being all around us, many are choosing to just ignore their problems.

Mental health matters and we should face it.

We’ve all seen the commercials about depression. The scene usually involves an attractive young/middle-aged woman lying on her couch or longingly staring out the window. We hear the voice-over comment on how living with depression can make you feel like a prisoner. You don’t want to engage with your friends or family anymore. In fact, you sometimes don’t even want to get out of bed. For some people, that commercial is an accurate representation of their life. But for others, their depression may not look that way. In fact, they may only feel sad or mildly moody a few times a week. To them, that’s their normal. Perhaps that’s why it can be difficult to know you should seek help.

Unfortunately, choosing to do nothing, or failing to recognize you need to do something at all, can have heartbreaking consequences. More than 90% of children who commit suicide were living with untreated mental health issues. More so, those living with mental illness are more likely to develop chronic medical conditions and even die 25 years earlier than others.

While it can sometimes feel embarrassing to seek help for something you may not truly understand, it is never embarrassing to want to help yourself and be healthy. So if you’re thinking you may have a problem, know you aren’t along, and know what to look for.

There are numerous types of mental health disorders. The following lists out the most common ones and summarizes what they are:2

1. Social or general anxiety disorders

People who suffer from these disorders respond to situations with fear and panic attacks. For anxiety sufferers, something as normal as walking out their front door can lead to complete fear and an emotional breakdown. This disorder affects about 1.5% of the U.S. population of those aged 18 and up.3

2. Depression, bipolar and cyclothymic

These are classified as mood disorders, and they typically involve intense feelings of sadness or periods of being super happy followed by being super sad. While anyone undergoing stress can experience mood swings, those with diagnosed mood disorders tend to fluctuate more frequently and intensely. Mood disorders affect almost 10% of the U.S. adult population.4

3. Psychotic episodes such as hallucinations and delusions

Psychotic disorders involve distorted awareness. People who live with psychotic disorders often see things or hear things that are not real. Schizophrenia is a common example of a psychotic episode. 4% of the U.S. adult population has been diagnosed with a psychotic disorder.

4. Anorexia, binge eating and bulimia

While many young girls (and some boys) may think eating disorders are…

Alert: If You Always Avoid Things You Fear, You May Have This Issue

Most of us can relate to wanting to avoid things that make us uncomfortable – situations, people, and even work. Sometimes, we deliberately find ways to get out of confronting whatever makes us feel ill at ease. But Avoidant Personality Disorder is much more than just this.

Unlike other Cluster C personality disorders that may sound more familiar, Avoidant Personality Disorder is not as well known. The National Institute of Mental Health 1 estimates that around 5% of adults in the USA have it. It is characterized by patterns of social inhibition, feelings of inferiority or inadequacy, and sensitivity to negative responses. And as its name indicates, individuals tend to avoid situations that trigger those emotions.

  • Reluctance to be involved with people unless certain they will be liked.
  • Avoidance of activities (whether professional or personal) that would require significant contact with others due to fear of rejection or criticism.
  • Unwillingness to try new things due to shyness or feelings of inadequacy, particularly in social situations.
  • Sensitivity to criticism, rejection, or disapproval.
  • Difficulty with building intimate relationships because of fears and insecurities.
  • Feelings of being socially inept, inferior, or unappealing to others. As a result, there are tendencies to have extremely low self-esteem.

What Causes It?

The cause of Avoidant Personality Disorder is still undiscovered, but scientists believe that it may stem from genetics or as a result of childhood environments, such as experiencing emotional neglect…

I Dread Picking Up Your Call, But It Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Like You

It was 11p.m. and I was typing a message to my best friend. Suddenly, a sense of terror crept into my mind, and a wave of nausea filled my stomach. I immediately threw my phone on my bed and tried to cover it with my pillow. I just didn’t dare to watch what’s shown on it…

Thinking it’s the beginning of a thriller? Nonono… You’re just too imaginative. It’s just my best friend calling.

My description might be a bit too dramatic. But what’s sure is I feel sick whenever my phone rings. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family and friends and welcome them to contact me. What I dread is the idea of talking on the phone. You must be familiar with claustrophobia, cockroach phobia and even aqua phobia. So why some people can’t accept that some people really suffer from phone phobia?

To stop the anxiety, that’s what I tell my loved ones–Please message me instead of calling unless there’s something urgent. Of course, talking on the phone is acceptable to me sometimes. Just you need to message me about that so I can feel prepared. And I will make my points here.

Phone calls interrupt the tempo of our lives

We’re living in a hectic world. Our schedules are packed with loads of tasks. That’s why we find messaging tools the greatest invention of the age. They allow us to keep distractions away and get back to our family and friends when…

The Fear of Supernatural Punishment and Not “Big Gods,” Gave Rise to Societal Complexity

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Though larger numbers of people in developed countries are abandoning organized religion, no one can deny that religion or perhaps spirituality, has been a significant part of the human experience, historically. It’s been found in all cultures throughout the world. This leads evolutionary scientists to believe that spirituality must have played a critical role in our development. But exactly how has been difficult to discern.

Of all religions, Islam and Christianity have been the most successful. Together they account for 3.5 billion people in the world. The global population currently is a little over seven billion. To be so successful and grow so complex, you need to include the help of almost everyone in society. Freeloaders or those who go off to serve their own interests could hamper development. So how do you ensure that everyone buys in?

A previous study posited that the strong gods portrayed in Christianity and Islam helped to develop their respective societies into larger, more complex civilizations. These are omnipotent, high gods who enforce the moral code, and punish those who run afoul of it. One study out of the University of British Columbia concluded that such gods may have helped spur societal development. However, there isn’t consensus among scholars, as to whether a belief in such gods is in fact a driving force.

A New Zealand research team now says that these societies were already well on their way before “big gods,” came along. Instead, it was fear of supernatural punishment that kept everyone in line, they suggest. These included punishments from mighty gods, “fallible localized ancestral spirits,” and even, “inanimate processes like karma.”

Hindu God.

Do you need a moralizing high god for society to develop, or is a belief in supernatural punishment enough?

One problem is how to study such influences. Some cultures share lots of traits, not only because of common development, but a common ancestry, history, and so on. Following back which associations influenced what development, has traditionally, been difficult. Researchers at the University of Auckland borrowed a technique from evolutionary biology that analyzes data models, to arrive at their conclusions.

Researchers looked at 96 out of 400 indigenous Austronesian cultures. This is was a great seafaring culture of the Asia Pacific region who at one time inhabited parts of Taiwan, Australia, the Philippines, Madagascar, and many of the Pacific Islands, including Hawaii and Easter Island. Cultural evolution expert Joseph Watts was one of the researchers on this study. He said, “Austronesian cultures offer an ideal sample to test theories about the evolution of…