Are you aware that as you grow up, friendship is the thing that drifts away most easily? Work, vacation, relationships, family times — they’re all so important to life that it’s just hard to put friendship at a higher priority.
Have you ever been at supper at a friend’s home, you and your friends just didn’t have anything to talk about and had to force yourselves to just talk about something, like “so how have you been recently?”, or “oh the pasta is really nice…”?
This kind of awkward situation only leaves us wondering what friendship is for; but then, we also feel uncomfortable to have to declare that friendship has to be for something — how contradicting we are.
Here’s some good news for you…
Friendship does have its purpose, and having a purpose doesn’t ruin true friendship.
People come to your life for a reason. (Duh.) People do come together to become friends for some reasons though.
Alex Lickerman, the author of The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self talks about the things that draw people together as friends.
Instead of building friendships with random people, we tend to build bonds with people who share the common interests, share common values, have gone through the same difficulties, and who support each other equally.
We’re being selective about friends because not everyone can serve the purpose of being able to exchange thoughts and feelings with us.
When we get to know people, there are four things we really look for.
Firstly, we want reassurance so we know we’re not alone in being a specific way.
Everyone of us has our weak spots. There’s always something that we aren’t satisfied with, or some thoughts that we’re reluctant to share with others because we’re afraid of being judged or being let down.
We need the kind of friend who understands our thoughts and weaknesses; so we can feel comfortable to let down our…