Interpersonal relationship

Touch Can Actually Relieve Pain For Romantic Partners, Study Says

Fathers-to-be, take note: You may be more useful in the labor and delivery room than you realize.

That’s one takeaway from a study released last week that found that when an empathetic partner holds the hand of a woman in pain, their heart and respiratory rates sync and her pain dissipates.

“The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic effect, the higher the synchronization between the two when they are touching,” said lead author Pavel Goldstein, a postdoctoral pain researcher at CU Boulder.

The study of 22 couples is the latest in a growing body of research on “interpersonal synchronization,” the phenomenon in which individuals begin to physiologically mirror the people they’re with.

Scientists have long known that people subconsciously sync their footsteps with the person they’re walking with or adjust their posture to mirror a friend’s during conversation. Recent studies also show that when people watch an emotional movie or sing together, their heart rates and respiratory rhythms synchronize. When leaders and followers have a good rapport, their brainwaves fall into a similar pattern. And when romantic couples are simply in each other’s presence, their cardiorespiratory and brainwave patterns sync up, research has shown.

The new study, co-written with University of Haifa Professor Simone Shamay-Tsoory and Assistant Professor Irit Weissman-Fogel, is the first to explore interpersonal synchronization in the context of pain and touch. The authors hope it can inform the discussion as health care providers seek opioid-free pain relief options.

Goldstein came up with the idea after witnessing the birth…

6 Reasons Introverts Are Better At Dating Than Extroverts

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It might seem like extroverts have a leg over introverts when it comes to dating, but introverts are the ones who actually bring more to the table. Sure, extroverts are naturally outgoing and talkative, but introverts lure dates in with their thoughtful conversation, unmatched listening skills and super sexy sense of mystery.

Below, self-identifying introverts and experts on introversion share six reasons introverts are surprisingly good at dating.

1. Introverts are masters of mystery.

Introverts are alluring to others because they aren’t inclined to give everything away at once, said Laurie Helgoe, the author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength. In a world of TMI, that sense of mystery is powerful.

“A conversation with an introvert is like a journey to a vast and complex new landscape; you see part of the picture but also know there is much more to interest you down the road,” Helgoe told HuffPost. “Because introverts aren’t in a rush to tell all, they have the luxury of coming up with insights, ideas and funny observations that others miss.”

2. They genuinely listen to what their date has to say.

Forget monopolizing the conversation. Introverts would rather listen then spill their whole life story, brag about a recent vacation or lecture their date on news of the day. They value a back-and-forth conversation and ask follow-up questions. (Bonus points for that: A recent Harvard Business School study found that people who asked a lot of questions, particularly follow-up questions, were considered more likable by others.)

In short, introverts win their dates over with their genuine curiosity and ability to listen with intention, said Michaela Chung, the author of The Irresistible Introvert: Harness The Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World.

“As someone who has gone on a lot of dates with both introverts and extroverts, I can honestly say that the most exceptional dates were with fellow introverts,” Chung said. “Instead of flitting from topic to topic or telling one…

How to Connect With Someone Deeper Within a Short Time

Making friends and building relationships is not easy for most of us.

Often the problem is moving beyond traditional conversation lines, such as: “Hi, how are you today?” and “Not the best weather, let’s hope it’ll be better for the weekend.”

These lines do at least get you into a conversation with someone, but often their response closes down the interaction immediately: “I’m good thanks” and “The weather should be fine for the weekend.”

If you find yourself getting stuck for words at this point, then you need to learn how to boost your interpersonal skills.

If You Want to Keep a Conversation Going, You Should Make It Like Playing Ping Pong.

If you’ve ever played table tennis, then you’ll be able to quickly grasp the art of self-disclosure.

For example, when playing table tennis (also known as ping pong) with someone, you’ll be engaging in a back-and-forth action with them. This is similar to how conversations are started and sustained.

One party introduces an idea or question – and the other party comments or answers.

Self-disclosure follows the same pattern. For instance, you’ve gone to lunch with a new colleague and beyond talking about the food – you’ve begun to run out of things to say. In this case, you could move into self-disclosure mode and say something like: “You may not believe it, but I’ve been working here for over 10 years. In fact, this is the longest job I’ve ever had.”

By disclosing these couple of interesting facts about yourself, it’s highly likely that your new colleague will choose to share something about themselves too. They may reply by saying: “Wow, 10 years is a long time. My longest job was only for 6 years. However, my wife has been working at the same place for 12 years now. That’s…

Insecurities Are Hidden Wounds That Take Time to Heal in Any Relationships

It’s no coincidence that media will turn to the childhood stories to seek out where things went wrong when a star has a meltdown. The explanation might just be the attachment theory. This could also be part of the reason your relationships as an adult are suffering today. Find out what it is exactly and how you can help yourself heal from it today.

The attachment theory is the emotional and physical attachment you experience with your mom or dad growing up.1It was John Bowlby who first coined the phrase after doing studies on brain development in children. The study showed that when you have a strong bond with one or both of your guardians, you’re mentally more sound. Attachment will connect certain behaviors kids have. This includes seeking out the attachment figure when they feel threatened or afraid. Bowlby studied disturbed children and found that children really do need their mother in particular.

When there is a disconnection at a young age, it causes problems in adult relationships.

You may have unrealistic expectations that cause relationships to break down. Maybe you’ve never thought about what happens within you when anxiety builds up over small things. You may be overly jealous and hate yourself for it. These feelings don’t allow you to have a sense of peace in your life. This problem with attachment, in theory, may cause you to look like the psycho girlfriend or the over protective boyfriend. It may be that you have never known what it feels like to belong to something or feel secure.

Whether a child feels secure plays an important role in how secure the adult feels.

Author Meghan Laslocky wrote a book about how to deal with heartbreak.2 She attributed to knowing the ins and outs of the attachment theory. This helps you to understand where these needs come from. Once you know why you’re needing excess love, constant praise, and desperate for intimacy, you can start to move past it.

A child’s intimacy and sense of security with their primary caregiver will play an important role in how secure the adult feels…

To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work, the First Thing Is to Overcome Jealousy

There’s that moment—that flash of jealousy you can’t control when you hear that your significant other (SO) has been spending time with someone else—and you’re hundreds or thousands of miles away. It’s a totally normal feeling, but it can ruin meaningful relationships if it gets out of hand.

When you’re dealing with jealousy in a long distance relationship (LDR), it doesn’t just negatively impact your relationship, it can also affect your everyday life. You may start to feel resentful of your partner, angry at the people around them who get to spend time with them, and you’ll be focusing on those emotions instead of work, school, or your other relationships.

Jealously in a LDR can be difficult to solve, because there are communication barriers involved, and you can’t see what’s really happening or feel any sense of control over the situation.

Even though it may be a challenge to overcome jealousy in a LDR, it’s essential to do so if the relationship is going to last until you can be together again. Being consistently jealous isn’t good for your emotional or physical well-being, and jealousy can erode trust between you and your partner.

The good news? There are some strategies you can use to help overcome jealousy and maintain a fulfilling long distance relationship. Here are a few ways to get started on your path to a healthier, happier LDR1 and let go of jealousy.

Comparison is always toxic

When jealousy does come up, stop reading into every little thing. Don’t compare yourself2to other people who may be involved in the situation. Instead, consider why these feelings are coming up.

Is there a trust issue in the relationship? Has your partner repeatedly engaged in behavior that makes you uncomfortable?

When you start feeling jealous, it’s important to take a step…

Signs of Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Deal with It

Jealousy and uncertainty can wreak havoc on any relationship. These toxic emotions create toxic relationships and can sap you of any chance of living a life you’ve always desired for.

Your life may be abundant of people who are reducing your energy due to an incurable case of jealousy.

Even on social media, you will find lots of people talking about the same topic and sharing quotes about relationships.

Whether it’s a page on Facebook, or any other social network, people do share their emotions and how they deal with it.

How can you tell if your partner has an extreme case of jealousy?

These are a few ways to tell if your partner has a severe case of jealousy that could weaken you in your relationships.

Signs of excessive jealousy in a relationship

  • Show you how to dress; act, wear your hair, etc.
  • Overly concerned about the venue of your socializing activities;
  • Follow you around (even to the grocery stores!);
  • Intervene your social systems;
  • Call you excessively to know your location;
  • Be too serious about everything;
  • Struggle to communicate openly with you;
  • Do not see the goods in you and do things that make you feel small;
  • Have a negative standpoint and poor self-esteem and lack of confidence;
  • Be proactive in domestic arrangements;
  • Be aggressive and have biased view over some minor details

One of the most difficult thing for women to notice in a man is to confuse attributes like confidence, determination, persistence and ambition with aggressive behavior due to a lack of trust. When a man depicts tenacity due to insecurity and jealousy, it can become a recipe for failure in the relationship step. In the dating stage, this person looks charming and charismatic. Still, once a relationship is established…

Many of Us Can’t Identify Our Strengths and Weaknesses Because We Misunderstood What They Mean

“Soooo, tell me about your strengths and weaknesses…”

Do you experience that ominous “deer in headlights” feeling when you hear this question? What does it even mean? What are the things you identify as strengths? Why do you label them as such? Is it because it is an ability or skill at which you excel? Is it something you do better than most people? Who or what measures what a strength or weakness is? This question–especially in an interview–can be tricky terrain to navigate.

As one who has sat on both sides of this question–I will try to provide some insight and direction on how you should approach this extremely slippery slope.

Even If You’re Good at Something, It’s Your Weakness If It Drains You.

Discovering your true strengths and weaknesses isn’t just critical for nailing a job interview. It is a fundamental key to your success in all aspects of life.

Marcus Buckingham, author of Go Put Your Strengths To Work, provides the most pure and concise explanation for determining what is a strength and what is a weakness. And it has nothing to do with what you are good at or how you fair against others.

“A better definition of a strength,” said Buckingham, “is an activity that makes you feel strong. And a weakness is an activity that makes you feel weak. Even if you’re good at it, if it drains you, that’s a weakness.”

Consider that statement for a moment. Are you starting to gain a bit more context and insight into what your true strong suits and deficiencies are?

I Was Proud of My Ability to Deal With People But I Later Found That It’s Not My True Strength…

Here’s an example from personal experience.

I am extremely “good with people.” I am compassionate, considerate, attentive, encouraging and accommodating. I am good at getting the best out of people, calming intense situations and making people feel heard, validated and appreciated. I work at it. I study people. I am a student of psychology and human interaction and can usually determine a person’s primary temperament1 within moments of meeting them and can adjust to play to their temperament strength.

In interviews2, I have always listed my interpersonal skills as one of my strengths. But if I take a step back and really assess this “gift” I find that it really isn’t one of my true strengths. The truth is people drain me and human interaction, often times, is akin to navigating a mine field. I prefer being alone or with my husband to being around others. My interactions with people don’t flow naturally. I am not instinctively a “people person.” I have to calculate my moves and measure my responses before I speak. I am innately shy, incredibly introverted and socially awkward. My people skills are manufactured and have been honed out of necessity. It is…

Verbal Abuse That’s Not Easy to Spot but Indeed Very Harmful

Verbal abuse runs rampant and is the most under reported act of Domestic Violence of them all. More often than not, young girls are raised that this is how we are expected to be treated. Several groups want to point out that it’s not true.

However, 62% of tweens (ages 11-14) report that they are aware of their friends being in verbally abusive relationships. 1 in 4 teenage girls, who are in relationships, report enduring repeat verbal abuse. Tweens and teens do not just automatically subject themselves to such relationships, it’s learned behavior that stays for a long time.

Verbal Abuse Is More Than Feeling Uneasy. It Dampens Our Spirits.

Entering into adulthood, this behavior continues. In some cases, it turns into physical and/or sexual violence. However violent the relationship can get, the verbal abuse is the most damaging to the psyche. Repeatedly exposing ourselves to verbal abuse can lead to:

  • the feeling like you are constantly on guard
  • loss of enthusiasm
  • unsure of being able to communicate effectively (you can, your abuser will convince you otherwise)
  • diagnosis of depression and/or anxiety
  • suicidal thoughts
  • trapped in the “what if” thoughts
  • feeling uneasy or paranoid for no reason

Complete Catalogue on Various Abuse Tactics

There are very specific methods to abuse and these become your warning signs. If you are newly dating someone, take note of these tactics!

Withholding

They don’t tell you everything and avoid sharing thoughts or feelings. Discussions become based only on facts with no real in-depth sharing.

Countering

There is a tendency to be argumentative. You enjoy a movie, your abuser must tell you why the movie was awful and convince you that you are wrong. I often said that if I told my ex-husband “the sky is blue” then he would go on a long winded rant on why the sky was really green and there was something wrong with my vision.

Discounting

They are removing your rights to how you feel. You become “too” much of anything. You are too sensitive, too childish, or over-dramatic. This tactic tends to leave you feeling as if you are never quite good enough for your partner.

It’s Just a Joke

They are hiding the abuse behind the caveat “it’s just a joke”. My ex-husband would often spend plenty of time trying to shame me for something in front of other people and if I dared get upset he would say “it’s just a joke, your…

A Disorder That Many Famous People Have and Makes Them So Different from the Others

People with Schizoid Personality Disorder are typically detached from social relationships for long periods of time. They have difficulty expressing their emotions, have a minimal desire for intimacy, and will avoid close relationships with others at all costs. Albert Einstein and Bill Gates are two well-known individuals who had Schizoid Personality Disorder.

The Common Symptoms

  • Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family
  • Almost always chooses solitary activities
  • Has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person
  • Takes pleasure in few, if any, activities
  • Lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
  • Appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others
  • Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affect (emotion)

The Causes

What causes Schizoid Personality Disorder is unknown, however genetic and environmental factors, specifically in early childhood could possibly play a part in the development of the disorder.

If a person has a parent or another close relative who has schizophrenia or another similar mental illness, they may be at a greater risk of developing schizoid personality disorder.

When a parent repeatedly ignores the emotional needs of a child who is sensitive, they run the risk of causing long-term damage to that child’s social and emotional development, which can lead to the development of schizoid personality disorder later on.

If a person exhibits behavioral patterns and symptoms of this personality disorder, a doctor will do an evaluation. This includes getting their medical history and possibly a physical exam.

Unfortunately, lab tests that can be done…

The Most Common Mistakes That Make Great Relationships Turn into Bad Ones

It happened again. For some reason, something as simple as choosing dinner just turned into an argument. You don’t understand it. The two of you have always been a great couple, yet lately, something just isn’t right. What’s going on?

Time and time again, perfectly happy and in love couples make common mistakes that ruin their relationships. It’s difficult to identify the problem because there is no one-size-fits-all relationship advice out there.

Can’t wait turning things around?

But, there is a long list of the most common mistakes that ruin romantic relationships. If you’re hoping to save what the two of you have, it’s worth taking a look at the following relationship advice and figuring out what exactly applies to you and your partner.

The most common and fatal relationship mistakes

So, without further ado, here are the most common mistakes that can ruin great relationships:

As much as you may want them to be, your significant other is not telepathic. They cannot read your mind. And it is not fair of you to expect them to magically know what you need if you haven’t clearly told them. If your partner doesn’t know what you need, it is not a sign that they don’t love you enough. It is a sign of a lack of communication.

What can you do? Learn to effectively communicate your wants and needs. Be truthful, open, honest, sincere, and patient.1 Without these traits, no relationship can grow and develop . Help your partner learn more about you by being clear with them. Give them the chance to be a successful partner.

We’re not talking about keeping their birthday gift a surprise until the big day, we’re talking about honesty. If you keep a secret and your significant other find out about it, guess what? You’ve just broken the trust between you two. And trust…